My Life As I Imagined...And My Life In Reality

I was reading Pioneer Woman the other day and she had an entry about whether or not your life turned out like you thought it would, like you had planned for it to turn out.

She asks:
How similar is your life now to how you imagined it ten years ago? Twenty years ago? Are you exactly where you imagined you’d be? Or are you constantly asking yourself, “How did I get here?” Do you mourn the unrealized plans in your life? Or are you happy no matter what your circumstances?

Some of the responses she got were about how happy people were with where their life was, but a lot of them were really, really sad. They were people talking about how miserable their life was, or about how their kid was in the hospital with a terminal disease, or about how they had made a lot of mistakes along the way, and so on.

I have been thinking about where my life is a lot lately. This post on Pioneer Woman made me contemplate even further. I can honestly say that I absolutely adore my life. It is hardly what I thought it would be in some ways, and exactly what everyone hopes for in other ways. Some days are pretty darn hard. Other days are so happy, how can I even complain about the ones that aren’t?

Am I where I thought I would be 10 years ago? Not even close. But would I trade it for what I naively thought that I wanted? Not a chance.

Let’s start with 10 years ago…I had just finished my freshman year in college (Holy crap!!! That was 10 years ago?!?!). I had just started dating someone who was a year older and had completely different friends than did I. The relationship was doomed from the start, but we generally enjoyed each other’s company. I was serious about school. I couldn’t lose my scholarship; that would have spelled disaster for my college plans. Heck, I could barely get enough financial aid to stay in school. I sure wasn’t going to jeopardize it any further by not having good enough grades to keep the free money I was getting. I was working like a dog to afford life. And I was having a blast. I had a ton of friends, almost all of which had the same beliefs that I did and liked to have fun the way that I did.

I had HUGE dreams. I was going somewhere. (That meant, somewhere outside of Abilene.) I was going to succeed professionally; I was going to make a difference in the world; I was on a career-minded mission. I guess somewhere in there I was going to eventually find a relationship that wasn’t doomed from the start. I had zero plans for children.

I still have huge dreams. It’s just that now they are totally different than they were back then. My focus has gradually changed. I want a fulfilling job that allows me to be with my family as much as possible. Right now, it’s just Mike and me, but we hope to eventually have kids. I want to be able to focus on that aspect of my life as much as possible. I can’t imagine working in a high-powered position that didn’t allow me to go home at the end of my day and leave my job at work. Sometimes it is really hard for me to accept that I am in a job that is not satisfying and not at all prestigious. In fact, a monkey could do my job. Seriously. But the thought of trading that to go back to my high-stress health care job, where I honestly felt like I was making a difference, makes me cringe.

Do I mourn this change of plans? Absolutely not. While I may have a job that I find less than satisfactory, I still have a job. A job that allows me to go home to the teeny tiny house that I am madly in love with and is the product of our hard work. I love that I love to come home to my husband, dogs, and home. Does that make me a “desperate housewife”???? I guess so. And I'm okay with that.

4th Anniversary Staycation

Last week Mike and I celebrated our 4th anniversary. It seems like just yesterday that we got married, but in some ways it feels like forever. In a good way. I almost can’t remember what life was like without Mike. Then again, Mike and I went out on our first date over 9 years ago, and we were friends for awhile before that. Essentially, Mike has been in my life for right at 10 years. That’s about a third of my life. So that’s what I mean by it “feels like forever”…

We celebrated our anniversary this past weekend. We went on a staycation!!! Mike surprised me by planning the whole thing. He just told me when and where and took care of all the details. We had such a great time! We left the house and drove to downtown McKinney, where we went to a little bed and breakfast that Mike found. The B&B is an old house called the Dowell House. http://www.dowellhouse.com/ It is 130 years old, and was built by an influential family in McKinney. It was also the house used in the Benji movie. It’s been owned by the current owners and run as a bed and breakfast for the last 18 years. It is such a quaint house. Our room was on the second floor and had its own private balcony. There were doors in the room that opened up onto the balcony, which was huge! There were plants and trees all around to shade and make it private. There was a table with two chairs, an awning, and a hot tub. The owners really didn’t miss a thing. We had everything we could think of. There was even make-up removal pads, face masks, Off at the balcony door for mosquitoes…everything we could possibly think of.

We got all dressed up and then headed over to a restaurant downtown in McKinney on the square called Goodhues. http://www.goodhuesgrill.com/ It was so yummy! Mike and I both had fish: he had mahi-mahi and I had sautéed tilapia. It was incredible food. The service was impeccable. I highly recommend it; it’s a great date place. The owners of the place we stayed said they have the most delicious steaks too. We’ll have to try the steaks next time.

The next morning, we were served breakfast in the dining room. We had oven baked French toast that was in corning ware dishes. It had a great cinnamon and pecan sauce at the bottom, a cream cheese filling, with the bread baked on top. Oh my – it was rich and oh so good! Even I couldn’t finish it, and I rarely think anything is too rich. After breakfast, Mike and I headed home to let the dogs out and get ready for our day.

It was a sweet and memorable anniversary. Mike has a lot to live up to for future anniversaries now! And I am sure looking forward to them!!